Musings: I want it all.

I want the full buffet of love. The hope, romance, butterflies, long conversations, shared values, a united front, real partnership, the proverbial better half, all of it.

I want to go on a nice honeymoon, Thailand or cape-town would be amazing, but any nice place will do. A place where we can relax and play and be sexy and fall deeper in love and in sync. Also like a celebration of us, for a job well-done so far, because I think it’d be worth celebrating.

The kind of relationship where we’ll grow every day, as individuals and as a unit.

We’ll be responsible with our well-being and finances as a family, pursue our respective and common goals, helping each other achieve them, mapping out our own path to success, being honest and accountable to each other, raising two children (or so ?), just being cool forever.

The children will be beautiful and well-adjusted and charismatic and smart and conscientious and curious and talented.

Our home will be beautiful, minimalist (I would simply die if I ever married a hoarding maximalist), lots of natural brightness, expensive art and lots of warmth. As soft a life as we can manage together, hopefully spanning more than one geographies, God willing.

We’d have friends, I might become obsessed with aesthetics and maybe even cosmetic surgery (not likely to happen, I’m just saying), our lives could look very different from what we imagine, but we’ll laugh a lot and have God with us. It'll be good and we'll be good people.

It’s going to be glorious.

Anyway, I just felt pushed to write today. Obviously, I’m not trained or anything so pardon my bad form, I just hope that you get what I try to say with these ramblings, and that it makes you feel something. Anything.

I have a lot of these thoughts ever so often, you know? Thoughts about what my future would look like, what I'm feeling, many thoughts. Sometimes I make a short entry in my notepad or tweet a condensed version on my Twitter, maybe talk to a friend if I can manage, and that’d be it, but there's nothing like a fully-written, long-form, straight from the heart blog post, right?

[Gen Zs and co. won’t believe this but there was a time when BLOGS like this were the thing to be on. Pre-TikTok AD. 

The engagement, comments and links, ‘professional’ blog photos, blogspot .com, it was revolutionary, so much so that it birthed ‘visual’ platforms like Instagram.

Bloggers were the tin gods of the internet, they had actual writing skills and had the power to do and undo with just a few strikes of their keyboards. Yes, keyboards as in a computer, mobile wasn’t quite in yet. 

They had the editorial overloads shook. It was mind-blowing, you just had to be there.]

I’ve digressed, but these are my musings from this morning, sappy like a puppy but I hope you liked reading it, if you did read to this point.

This sudden suspension of my blogger retirement was partially triggered by this twitter thread I saw this morning about lab-grown versus ‘naturally mined’ gemstones (see it here). It got me thinking about the details of the love and life that I want. That visualization kept expanding and expanding and crystallizing in my mind, and here we are with me documenting my desires on the internets.

It might be oversharing (for me at least) but I think this is like that wishing-on-a-coin-at-the-water-fountain thing but like, in the digital universe. 

I’m ‘writing the vision and making it plain’, as the bible advises we do.

Now, about gemstones and rings, my thoughts and taste have galloped down a long road over the years. I started from not knowing or wearing any jewelry at all through childhood, then getting hooked into fashion magazines and style content in my late teens and early adulthood, stumbling across the jewelry business and eventually starting my own (follow and shop my brand here), all alongside growing into my own person, understanding my minimalism and deciphering what I like.

For example, in engagement/wedding rings, I know I'd like one if I make into such a committed relationship. I know I like gold. Silver is not preferred. Stainless steel is ok on the more affordable end. Tinted metals like rose-gold are a no. Colored stones over ‘clear’ ones (except yellow diamonds which are just stunning), oval shape, brushed yellow-gold band of reasonable width and so forth.

Also, by gemstones I mean lab grown, not ‘naturally mined’. Both are nearly same in molecular properties but lab processed pieces are way more affordable and without the blood. 

Expending high levels of energy required for the processing, is a much lesser evil compared to the crimes against humanity that the mining industry is rife with, in my opinion.

Anyway, my romantic musings continue, I’ll keep visualizing and working for all that I want, because why not?

chat later.